I have a simple, effective, and fun DIY project for you today! It should help you appreciate your inner and outer beauty more fully! It may seem a little awkward at first, but this creative and totally free self-care project will help change the way you see yourselves. This week-long project will help re-program that damaging, inner self-critic and get on the right track to sexy self-care!
Before I get to the DIY part of this week’s blog, we have to talk about major barriers that get in the way of planning and practicing self-care. It’s important to know what we are up against, so we know how to get around it. So here are a few that I came up with:
- Remembering. It’s not usually until after we’ve been through a crisis, or something major happens, that we remember to take care of oneselves. It’s usually at the urging of a good friend, that we reluctantly agree to take care of. I find it easier to remember because I
- Schedule. Let’s face it: we are all running around trying to survive most days, and if you’re like me, you may feel pretty successful making it to work with pants on! It can be difficult to eat right and exercise Sometimes scheduling things in can be a nightmare!
- Run out of ideas. There are only so many times one can get their nails painted and it feels like self-care. At some point, if you’re pretty consistant with it, it just becomes routine.
- Not feeling worthy. The biggest and ugliest barrier to self-care. If you don’t feel worthy, you will never be able to take the time to plan and give back to yourself. It’s the barrier that needs the most creativity to get around.
Regarding the last barrier, the fastest way I know how to get out of the “not feeling worthy” bubble is to start by building yourself up. Personally, I have a lot of experience in this area. I’ve lived the majority of my life feeling unworthy of practically everything: unworthy of love, unworthy of money, or unworthy of nice clothes. I’ve been to a place in my heart where I even felt unworthy of food. At one point I felt like good food is only for skinny people, or the “good” people. When it comes to feeling unworthy, I can totally relate. A big reason of why I started this blog and podcast was to learn self-compassion through self-care and to be constantly reminded to do it. But you don’t have to be hating on yourself for this DIY project to have a positive effect, but I know for me, having done this project, it has produced tremendous results. I look at myself differently now. I’m definitely less concerned with what others see when they look at me. I care how I look, but it’s when I listen to that inner-critic that makes it unhealthy.
For this week-long DIY project, the only thing you’re going to need is a smartphone or camera. That’s it! Here’s what you’re going to do:
- For one week, take a selfie every day. You can take it at anytime of day and anywhere you want, but it must be a true selfie. No one else can be in the photos.
- DO NOT RETAKE THEM.This step is huge. You cannot delete and retake selfies. I know it’s awkward, but this is probably not going to be your facebook profile picture. But seriously, no one but you is going to see them, and the point of this self-care exercise is not for you to get the best shot of yourself. It’s about being okay with how you look when ever. And that brings us to step 3.
- DO NOT EDIT THEM. No filters, no color enhancer, no photoshop allowed. This is not about getting the best picture of yourself. This is about seeing yourself in the moment. This is an exercise in self-love. Look at yourself with compassion and choose to see yourself for who you are—not how you look.
- Once you take your selfie, immediately file it away. Do not obsess and look at it again. Snap it and be done. This is a very important part of the steps, and personally, for me, it’s the hardest one.
- At the end of the week you should have seven selfies. Look through the selfies and decide which one will fit under the following seven categories below. Here’s the trick: don’t take the selfie with the category in mind. You just have to make sure that one of your selfies falls into the following categories, but you have to wait until all seven selfies are taken before you decide. The reason you wait until the end of the week is so that you can review the week and reflect on how you felt that day—not how you look. The seven categories are:
- Smile. Choose the selfie that makes you smile most. You don’t have to be smiling for it to fit in this category!
- Smart. Choose the selfie that you think is the smart version of yourself.
- Style. Which selfie best captures your unique style? Which one do you look at and know is truly reflecting who you are. It does not have to be the one with the most stylish outfit, but rather the one that you feel shines your personality through.
- Strong. Choose the selfie that reflects your inner strength. It does have to be “tickets to the gun show” to fall under this category, but it should be one you look at and respond with, “That is one tuff cookie right there.”
- Sexy.This is not the most sexy porn shot. this selfie is the one that reflects your confidence. This picture is the one that you look at and feel good about yourself.
- Successful. Which selfie do you look at and see success? This is not your future presidential headshot, this selfie is the one that when you look at it you can see your future success and reflects your past success. This selfie tends to be the one where you are looking dead into the camera, unapologetic, and unafraid.
- Satisfied. Choose the selfie that you like the most. The one you would make your facebook photo, if that were that kind of exercise—but again—it’s not. It’s about looking at your own photos with all it’s imperfections and seeing yourself for who you are—not what you look like.
And for extra credit:
At the end of the week, after you’ve put all the selfies in their corresponding categories, go back through and look at them while repeating the word you defined them as. You can do this in your mind or aloud. So if you choose the selfie you took on Monday as your strong selfie, look at the picture and say to yourself, “strong.” As you do this exercise, really feel it Feel yourself as strong. And really see yourself as a strong person.
Then, delete them all, without showing them to anyone. I did this exercise in preparation for the show, and one of the hardest things I had to learn with this, was how to deal with my inner-critic. It was really awkward at first. I admit, I deleted a few selfies. It’s so stupid because NO ONE is going to see it, yet it was hard. I did mine for a month, so that might have something to do with it, but that inner-critic would not shut up. Then I struggled with categorizing all my selfies, because I felt like so many of them didn’t fit into any of the categories. I stuck with it, used some of my Self Care is Sexy training and began to look at the selfies with kinder eyes. I started to look for things to like in my pictures of myself, instead of things to criticize.