If you’ve been struggling with how to make self-care a priority, or if you need to replenish your well-being, I invite you to plan and throw yourself a “Me Party”! There is no better way to take care of yourself; it’s easy, low cost, and because you create it, you’ll never be disappointed. Think of a Me Party as a date night or a lounge day to yourself. It should be something fun that like to do alone, shutting out all the distractions and obligations.
For me, my Me Party includes loud music, or a live show if I can. There is something so therapeutic in loud rock music for me. I blame my childhood. It was filled with loud rock music. I start out with a nice long uninterrupted warm bath with candles and the Pearl Jam cranked unbelievably loud. I order dinner from delivered dish, or take out, and pop in a nice 80’s love movie. “Say Anything” comes to mind, or just something fun and light, a movie that I know is going to put me in a good mood afterwards. I make sure to turn off the phone, and I don’t have plans with anyone else. I have the house to myself, and allow it to be messy if need be. Chores can wait, I have a Me Party to get to.
If you find yourself struggling to figure out what your Me Party looks like, you can start by asking yourself the following questions;
- How do you best recharge? What activity fills you up and makes you feel alive? It could be taking a walk in nature, listening to really great music, seeing live theater or an art exhibit; it could be the batting cages, or tacos from a food truck; it could be a nap or a good book. When generating ideas for your Me Party, keep in mind ways of how can you recharge without other people around. Enjoying friends and socializing can be an amazing way to recharge, but there will always be an element of competing preferences.
- What was the funnest thing you’ve done this year? Draw from past experiences. You have a wealth of good memories and exciting events in your past, start to pick out the trips, events, or times that you really felt recharged and ready to take on the world afterwards. A “Me Party” attempts to recreate those events, but alone.
- If you had an extra paid day off or a free day this week, what would you do with it? No one really wants to do chores. Okay, there might be some weirdo out there, and they can come clean my house anytime they want, but for the majority of us, it’s not pleasant. So let’s say, all the chores are done, and you have an extra free day to do with what you please. No obligations. No deadlines. No consequences. What do you choose to do?
- What’s one thing you said you’ve always wanted to do, but haven’t gotten around to it? Sometimes the best way to identify what it is, is to look at what you have been putting off. If you have a lingering goal, but can never seem to make it a priority or take action on it, start to look in that direction, there is something worth examining there.
If you really take the time to answer these questions truthfully—really think about them, meditate over them, maybe even journal about it or talk to someone you trust—you will come up with your ideal Me Party. Identifying what your Me Party will consist of is a useful tool to help define some lacking areas in your life. If walking in nature sounds recharging to you, maybe you are missing out on some good quiet time alone. If you examine all the past fun you’ve had and notice that your funnest events have been trips to other places, you might need to look at making travel more of a priority.
However you construct your Me Party, the main points to keep in mind are; do it alone, make it something you like!
As I’ve been interviewing people for this podcast, I’ve asked them about their self-care routines and if they are having a Me Party, and a lot of people have responded that they have some kind of recharge routine, but that is it challenging to make in a priority. And the only way recharging self-care has a positive impact, is if you make it consistent. There are benefits to having a consistent self-care routine, such as:
- Developing the ability to draw boundaries. By saying no to other obligations, because you have built in down time, you work on that boundary and saying “no” muscle.
- Gaining more self trust. When you make the time and stick to it—no matter what kind of chaos you are currently in—you develop a trust that you will put yourself first. That trust in yourself will transcend to all areas of your life. If you are feeling out of whack at work, or have a relationship in turmoil, planning to take time for yourself and following through on it are the best ways you can build self trust and self confidence.
- Benefitting from down time. We all have demands, and we all have to deal with crises. You will always be far better at handling life’s uncontrollables if you’re rested. You’re able to deal with any chaos or life problems that will inevitably pop up if you have built in time for self-care.
- Getting to know yourself. Maybe you know yourself really well and can easily spot the lack of self-care before it becomes critical. But if you have yet to develop that muscle—or if it’s hard for you to see when you aren’t taking good care of yourself—planning a Me Party will help you to begin seeing the pattern and prevent the negative effect of self-neglect. As you plan and think of ideas for your monthly or weekly Me Party, start getting to know yourself better.
A Me Party is a perfect way to implement a self-care ritual. You have to find ways of making self-care a habit. Once a month seems about right for me. So for some ground rules:
ME PARTY RULES
- Schedule it. Block it off once a month, set it out far in advance if needed, that way nothing can come along and derail it.
- Do it alone. This is a pamper yourself, by yourself, situation. You don’t want to be distracted by any competing desires or restrictions. Alone time is so powerful. You have to reconnect with yourself. We change so quickly and need time to reflect on who we are right now, where we’ve been, and what’s coming up next.
- Make it fun things you like to do. Make sure you plan your Me Party filled with fun things you enjoy doing. You can splurge! You can indulge. You can put down all the “shoulds” and “have tos” for one night, and really give yourself the gift of letting it all hang out.
- Disconnect. You’ve seen them and you’ve been one: the cell phone zombie. You have got to turn it off. Social media, email, to-do lists all go out the door for this party. Life’s emergencies happen and obviously you can gauge when something is worth interrupting you, but strive to turn off the outside distractions, the phone, the email, etc. Don’t worry, they’ll be waiting for you when you’re done; but you’ll be better at handling it after you’ve taken the time to recharge yourself.
- Celebrate yourself. We don’t take time to celebrate our successes. We often poo poo them away, or shrug them off. That way of thinking needs to change. We need to switch our mindset to a place of self-gratitude. Give yourself credit. You are amazing and you do A LOT! You have a lot of pressures competing for your time, thoughts, and energy, so give back to yourself for the amazing person you are. You deserve it!
If you are saying, “Look, Kris, this sounds like a great idea, but I really don’t have any kind of time at all for this self-care, having a Me Party stuff,” this is what I want you to do right now. Get out your calendar or planner—and if you don’t have one, I have a great suggestion for you later in the show—and schedule a Me Party. For real! Set it out for one, three, four, six weeks away. If you have to go further than that, do it. This is why: you may or may not make that Me Party. Maybe you’ll have to cancel on yourself, which I wish you wouldn’t (because seriously if you can’t go six weeks out to schedule time alone for yourself, you need to re-evaluate)— but schedule it way out. Even if it’s just one little thing you do for yourself, it’s progress. If you don’t make it to that party, you have it on the calendar and when it pops up, future you is going to get a little self-care is sexy reminder—and guess what—you’ll remember that you meant to make yourself a priority and it’ll be a little check in. You can assess where you are at: Are you getting better by making time for yourself, or are you run down and stressed out to the max, wishing everyone would just leave you alone.This is just one creative way a self-care routine can be put into action. You can personalize your Me Party however you want. It can be a day hike alone, hopefully somewhere familiar, don’t get dead, that should be a rule. It could be going out to a movie alone; one you’ve wanted to see for a while. But make it a treat—something you like. Find fun and what makes you feel recharged. Maybe it’s a full out pamper day, where you get your nails done, get a massage, and someone else does the chores. Or you just put them off. It’s just one day, possibly a few hours. You have the time, you need to make the time, for yourself. And at Self Care is Sexy we are all about building in time to take care of ourselves, even with massive hectic schedules.
I can’t wait to hear all about your Me Parties! It’s always so interesting to hear what others are doing to recharge and take care of themselves.
So we at Self Care is Sexy are giving you the permission, we are commanding that you take this time for yourself, and sometimes that just what you need, is someone who cares about you telling you that it’s okay to take some down time. It’s okay to put off the housework, the grocery shopping, the bill paying, the social media, and take a few hours to yourself.
So now that you have permission, what will you do for your next Me Party? Even if it’s short and just a few hours, share your Me Party with us on Facebook or Twitter using #havingameparty and you’ll be entered into our contest to win some fun self-care shwag.