Be sure to listen to this week’s podcast episode, where we interview the beauty self-care guru Mrs. Stacy Cox-Hathaway! She took the time to hang out with us and talk about her personal self-care and how twerking and egg rolls are her brand of self-care!
The beauty aspect of self-care has always illuded me. I enjoy dressing up and having my hair and makeup done, but I’ve not always known how to do it myself. Being plus-sized with fashion can make the challenges even more daunting. I actually learned to put on makeup by spying on my sister’s Mary Kay makeup parties in high school. I also had a few girlfriends who wore makeup and I tried to mimic them. Later in life, I learned by watching Youtube videos. It was a bit embarrassing when a twelve year old is hosting a “how to apply eyeliner” video, while I’m pausing it over and over again to try and get the rad cat eye look down.
It took me a long time to be comfortable in my own body and develop my own style. My true “aha” moment came when I found the show “What Not To Wear.” The show is no longer recording, but you can still catch it on Netflix. It really changed me for the better. I was so shocked that a reality TV show was so real. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a show where one poor fashion victim participant—who is nominated by a loved one or friend to be on the show—gets asked to let the two hosts of the show, Stacy and Clinton, throw away all their clothes, teach them how to shop, how to pick out and create outfits, and give them $1,000 to buy a brand new wardrobe. The only catch is that participants have to shop by the stylists’ rules.
The cameras follow them shopping while they fall back into their old habits of buying leopard print, stone-washed jeans, tube-tops, and flip flops. Yikes! Just then, the hosts pop up out of nowhere for a fashion intervention and show them a few outfits as guidance. Every single time there is resistance. The participants do not want to throw away their clothes, follow the style rules, or put in the effort. As a result (as well as the best part) the hosts take the participants into a 360° mirrored room and talk with them about their style and fashion choices. Without fail, the participants respond emotionally and realize that they deserve the effort it takes to look and feel great. They have their “aha” moment. They see themselves as beautiful and worthy of the time that it takes to be fly as a motherfucker. It takes effort to look good, and it takes planning. According to the show, it takes making sure every outfit has color, texture, pattern and shine. Two snaps.
Lacking a self-care beauty routine for a long time, I only recently understood why it was important, and how it would help my life. I have learned that in order for me to avoid the pitfalls of negative self-talk and criticism, I needed to create the following beauty routines for myself:
- Planned Outfits. My life can get a bit crazy. I accomplish a lot, and in order to do so, I need things done ahead of time so I can streamline the transitions from activity to activity. Having my outfits planned for the week ahead does a couple things for me:
- It makes getting ready in the morning quicker. What I am wearing is already planned out. There’s no time wasted going over and over what to wear.
- It combats the insecurities that pop up when I feel fat or don’t look good. The outfit is already planned, you know it looks good on you, you’ve worn it before.
- Facial. Getting facials are expensive, but I love it. I have permanent dark circles under my eyes. I know that most of time I have them because I haven’t attended to my self-care of not getting enough sleep. So I developed my own little facial routine. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a facial, but writing the blog this week made me make the time to do it. Find an aesthetician you like and make an appointment. They are easy to find; just look up spa in your area. Alternatively, you can create your own facial at home. I have a little bathroom caddy with all my facial stuff organized and drag it out every few months for some personal pampering. I use a cleanser, a face scrub, and a cucumber peel that I like to pair with actual slices of cucumbers over my eyes. Facials work and they make me look and feel fantastic afterwards.
- Nails done. It’s expensive and can take time out of your day, but consider taking that time for yourself. You deserve it. Even if it’s a cliché, mainstream, manufactured self-care method. Having my nails done makes me feel grown-up. I try to do them as often as I can. Having your nails done is a classic way to pamper yourself, especially if self-care has been a struggle. Nail salons are everywhere. If you’re not sure where to start, ask a friend where they go.
- Mirror Work. Mirror work is one of the most profound parts of my beauty routine. I picked it up from Louise Hay. If you don’t know who she is, I highly recommend that you check her out. In one of her self-help books, I learned about the power of looking into the mirror and saying positive things to yourself. At first I was resistant, but desperate for change; I was willing to try anything. It works, and I try to do it as often as I can. Usually I do mirror work while I am brushing my teeth. I look into my own eyes and say the following: “I love you. I really love you. Kris, I love you.” It starts my day in a self-loving place. It makes me feel beautiful when I send myself that daily love. It gives me confidence and reminds me to practice self-care throughout the day.
Having a consistent beauty routine is important. Not only so you feel good about your appearance, but also to develop the habit of taking time for yourself. When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you react well to life’s little crisis. To recap, my personal beauty self-care is sexy routine is: outfits planned, facial, nails done, and mirror work. Maybe your beauty routine is getting your brows waxed, scheduling a makeup artist to do your makeup for a special occasion, a Me Party night out, or any one of a million other self-care ideas out there. Whatever it includes, make sure you take the time to invest in how you look. Give yourself that treat. It is so worth it. The sexiest part about self-care is when you see someone who you can tell takes great care of themselves. They are healthy, happy, and solid in themselves!
What types of beauty self-care are you going to do for yourself this week?